Stewardship

What do you think of when you hear the term 'stewardship'? Since going back to church last year, I've really been convicted about being a good steward of what God has given me - especially when it comes to my flat and how I treat it and care for it. That's where it started. It has since gone to how I treat my body, my time, money and now, to the gifts God has given me.

I've been up and down when it comes to caring about my flat. I came back this year with a new conviction to clean my flat and really keep it tidy. So far, I've made good progress and I'm hoping that by the end of the week or the middle of next week, all I'll have to do is maintain it. Of course, I always aim for that, but at some point, I lose track of why I'm doing it. Still, it is something I feel God has placed on my heart to honour Him in and I will keep trying and praying that He will help me to honour Him there.

What I've started praying about is also how to honour God in time, at work and with money. Today on the way to work I was listening to a 'sermon' on my iPod. It was by Cornerstone Church in Simi Valley and it was more a question and answer session from 28 November 2010. I recommend listening to it. Really challenging and I found that I agreed with everything, which meant that I had to put what God has convicted me of into practise. With time and work, I'd already realised and started praying about it. With money, I'd just scratched the surface and saw my lack of trust that God really would provide for all my needs and wants. I also saw what my attitude was when it came to tithing and that this also had to do with my lack of trust - very much like the Israelites who took more manna then they needed because they didn't think there'd be any the day after.

So, with my body, I really need to start doing exercise and cook more for myself. Also, I need to start incorporating more fruit and vegetables into my diet and cut down on coffee. I'm leaving the food and body part till February because I still have some stuff to do with my flat and I want to get that in order before I do anything else. I realise that my aims are too unrealistic and so I usually fail and then give up. Part of what I learned over Christmas was to set realistic goals and to realise that you probably will fail for whatever reason, but to pick yourself up and move on. So far, it has worked. Taking the whole week into perspective and assigning tasks for each day. Really going well. Flat first, then body.

The money issue really got to me because it was an offence to God and how can I doubt His goodness and faithfulness?! But the one that really cut me deep in this question and answer session was about what you're doing with the gifts God gave you. Man! I'm doing nothing. I swear I am just hiding! I've buried my talents in the ground. The guy who was speaking basically reminded me of the truth, which is that God put me in this church and He gave me certain gifts and He gave them to me to be a blessing in the church that I am in. They are not just for me. They are God's, given to me for His glory and to be a blessing to my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Don't get me wrong. I am doing some things like Sunday School and serving tea and coffee, but I could really be singing and looking out for more ways to get involved. A big reason I'm not doing more is fear. I was so involved at CU and my last church. I don't want to be taken for granted and used again. Also, the other side of it is a lack of love for the people in my church. Sure, there are people that I really care about, but I want to hide and not be seen. I want to be able to run away if I feel threatened. But here also reveals the lack of trust I have in the goodness and perfection of God's will for my life. Do I really think that I went to MICC by chance? No! I don't. And just like the hand can't say to the foot, "I don't need you!" I can't as a member of the body if Christ say that to the church and I also can't say that I will not do the task that God has brought me here to do.

Of course, I will now seriously have to start praying about how God wants me to serve the people in my life and the church He has put me