I want a friend

I guess reading the title you might think that I am really lonely or don't consider the people in my life friends. I'm not lonely and I do consider the people in my life friends, but I want something that my vocabulary seems to lack the word for. I suppose 'companion' comes close...

Um... Before I go any further, I just want to say that this is not an advert and this is by no means something that I expect any of you to respond to!

Well, anyway, I have decided to pray for this 'friend'. I want someone who is at a similar stage in their walk with Jesus and a similar stage in life. I have so many people in my life who are 'teenagers' in their faith or who are really mature Christians, which is great for learning and growing closer to God, but no one who's really where I am. Maybe that's normal, but it doesn't seem like it from where I'm sitting - or the grass is greener?

I want someone I can walk through life with. For a long time I wanted a husband and I still do, but that just seems a little unrealistic at the moment. Maybe I need more faith? I have an amazing woman in my life who is my unofficial mentor and she's seen me grow in the last couple of years and has been a great source of encouragement and support, but she's married with 2 kids and 1 very soon on the way... I'm single. Different stages of life.

I also want someone I can laugh with. I have a friend at the moment who loves me and I'm her person and I'm one of her best friends. I do love her and I do feel called to be in her life to be a support to her, but I know I don't feel for her what she feels for me. I guess I look around and most people have a BFF, but I don't think I've ever had one. Just that one person who gets you and who just 'knows'. It doesn't have to be a man. So, that's why I say, I want a 'friend'.

I know I have Jesus and he's always been my friend. No doubt. He's always been there for me and he gets me because he made me. He knows me better than I know myself. He knows what makes me tick and believe me, I am REALLY looking forward to the day he comes back and I can spend eternity with him, but I would like someone that is equally as excited about it here so we can spur one another along. My friends - most of them - just seem to tolerate me when I get excited about Jesus and I've learned about him. The only ones who seem to feel the same are already married or about to in another country. They have their spouses...

Goodness, that sounds sad. Anyway, I want someone who will be just as excited as I am about Jesus coming back, about what I learn in the Bible, to encourage me when I've sinned or taken my eyes off him, to laugh with and just to walk with on this road, side by side at a similar pace. But I do know that if I'm supposed to have it, I will.

This is just the place I can say things I feel I can't say to people here because they won't understand or they won't take the time to listen. They do always mean well and they do pray, but sometimes, you just need to get it out there, whether it makes sense or not. :)