This is the day that the Lord has made

... I will rejoice and be glad in it. Or will I?

What is joy? What does it mean to rejoice in the Lord always? I have no idea!

Recently my mum told me that God had said to her that I have no joy in my life. Since then, at least 3 people have said the same. Joy is one of the fruits of the Spirit. Why do I lack it? This is something I have been thinking through, but the only conclusion I could come to was because I was looking too much at my own life and not enough at God.

Tonight I was listening to a sermon by Todd Nighswonger from Cornerstone Simi. He was talking about being filled with the Spirit and what is really means. Now, a lot of it was pretty intense, so I am not sure that I got all of it. But the part that spoke to me most was the part about joy. We don't rejoice in God when we try to live our lives apart from him. We are not filled with the Spirit when we try to do things our way and expect God to bless it. So, I guess that's a big part of why I don't have joy. I am still trying to live my life and ask God to join in when he should be the centre of my universe and I should follow him.

Ok, how do you not get overwhelmed and bogged down by this? I have a tendency to always look at all the sin in my life, and then I realise that there must be more beneath the surface because I am not aware of half the filth in me and I feel condemned. And then you have to remind yourself that condemnation is of the enemy and not of God because God doesn't condemn us. Our awareness of sin should lead us to repentance, forgiveness, God's grace and his mercy. Which I guess should lead to joy. How do you get out of this cycle?

What does it mean to rest in God's peace? What does it mean to rely on God's strength to get you through the day? What does it mean to redeem the time for the days are evil? I don't know. Ok, so I know what it means, but how does one apply it to one's life? Any ideas?!

I don't want to be a joyless person. I don't want to be someone who doesn't know God. I want to say "This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it" and not be sarcastic.

Anyone worked through this and get to the other side?