No life without God

Over the last few days I've been wondering how people cope without having God in their lives. I've been struggling with having a relationship with God over the last few months because I'm not sure exactly what being a Christian means anymore. I have spent far too much time looking to Christians for guidance and it led me to be disillusioned about my faith in general because I was looking to man and not God. For a little while it made me even wonder about whether I was even a Christian. I read some parts of my blog from this time last year and I was amazed at my faith then, but also amazed at how far from it I am now!

I've had to cut some ties with some people I really love recently because I need to be in a place where I don't have any distractions. I have to work this out on my own, obviously with God's help, but that makes this whole walk so lonely. I do feel incredibly empty and alone because I've forgotten what it means to have a relationship with God. I don't know where to start. And for the life of me, I can't understand how people can ignore the gaping whole in them! It's only been a few months and without God my life seemed so empty and pointless. There's just no meaning in anything and no purpose to anything. Everyday began and ended the same - thankless and empty. I knew I had to do something about it - I just couldn't take it anymore.

My lesson learned so far is that if I want to learn how to be a Christian, I should look at Jesus and not other Christians because - this is fairly basic stuff - Jesus is God and people are just people. I read Mere Christianity and I'm reading the Pursuit of God on the train to work. Think I might look at Mark and study Jesus afresh. I've been through enough to know that I don't want a life without God. No thanks. I don't understand why anyone would.

Exploding toilets

I'm sorry I haven't blogged for ages. This new job is not like the other. I have access to the internet, but it dooesn't let me onto blogger. :-( I do want to say more, but instead I'm going to go with a cop out and post a link about exploding toilets instead.

New Job

Hello, hello! I started my new job today and it was soooo busy. How brilliant! It's a stress filled job and is constantly on the go. Brilliant! So great to be working somewhere that gives me work to do. People seem really nice too. Only downside is that I have to leave the house at 7.45 every morning, or it could be earlier... I'll know for sure tomorrow. Ah well... All the travelling means I have more time to read.

Oh dear, I'll have to remember to actually submit my application to NOVA soon otherwise I may never get to Japan... I know some of you would be happy if I didn't go though. Hee hee hee!

No hair? Get a wig!

Just taking a stroll down memory lane. This time last year, Andrea came over with Hugo and shaved my head. And now my hair is lovely and growing nicely. :-)

Also, I started chemo on 10 April last year, but this year, I'll be starting my new job. What a year it's been!

Today I got to do something nice for someone I care about a lot. I'm glad I can make someone happy. :-) Yey!