Well, I suppose it's about time I blog again... I've been lazy with it because I've been sooo ridiculously tired. I think I may be anaemic. Not exaggerating or being a hyperchondriac. I have been slightly anaemic since my treatment, so it's not a total jump... I kept fainting the other night and my GP thinks it might have been a moment of low blood pressure. But we won't know for sure I guess... My GP's going to give me a check up next Tuesday, so I'll know then.
As for spiritual health: I can't say I've made any progress. I have no idea whatsoever how I'm supposed to rely on God for strength. I had a problem with that even when I was sure I was a Christian. The only time I got it right was when I had cancer and I'd rather learn how do it when I'm well than just be critically ill just so I can know God better. I think I'm just where I was - I know that I cannot live without God and that I want to be a Christian. But I have no idea whatsoever of how to live with God - how to be a Christian.
My problem is that I have always looked to other Christians as an example. Now the fact that Paul said to follow him as he follows Christ makes so much sense. Even Paul wasn't the 'right' example. Only Jesus. But I have no idea how to do that since the gospel stories are so familiar, they fall on deaf ears. But I also get distracted by Christians, expecially those that make me cringe to be associated with. That also is a 'plank in my eye' problem... Sandyford has been going through Matthew and they've been really well done sermons - very expansive, information and helpful. My problem is in application... I just have to wait and see, I suppose...
I guess I'm never really going to be 'sorted out', but I do want to be at a place where I know that God is definitely there...
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