Where is my faith?

You know, up until this week, I thought I was just struggling as a Christian and struggling with my relationship wih God, but after speaking to Julie today, I realised that it is deeper than that. I have lost my faith and in doing so have lost my hope. People always ask what difference does knowing God make to anyone's life, well, it gave me hope and now that I haven't got it, life's outlook is hopeless to me. I was kidding myself and perhaps others too, but I was never kidding God. How do you get faith back once you've lost it?

On another note, my interview was alright on Thursday for NOVA. I just answered the questions as best as I could and I'll hear by the end of the week. Or the start of next week. Who knows? It's quite tough knowing how to respond when people say that they think there's no reason why I shouldn't get the job. It's quite tough as well trying to show someone who doesn't know you that you are the right person for the job and that this is something you seriously want to do and it isn't just a pipedream. I don't know. I just have to wait and see...

Somewhere I know that this isn't a surprise to God and in some way he isn't distant. He knows, I guess, that in the long run this will be good for me because it'll have been something I decided for myself and not just something I have been told to believe. With this I just have to wait and see as well, but I still have to keep looking. :-)