Hmmm...

Hi! I'm sorry I haven't blogged anything about me or anything recently. Mainly I've been lazy, but also, there's not very much news. I'm fine. My hair is growing back quite quickly and my energy levels are getting better, though I've totally tired myself out this week. Pfff! But I'm still going swimming today. I've managed to get up 42 lengths in 50 mins, which I'm quite proud of though my hips and knees feel like jelly after. My tickets for Malaysia arrived yesterday, so I'm really excited about that. My dad has already planned a week away to the north of Malaysia at the end of September and my gran has already planned my birthday. I don't know what else I have in store except for moon cakes during the moon cake festival and other yummy food that you can only get in Malaysia and Singapore. :-)

As for God and I, I've been able to pray, but I have trouble motivating myself to do a proper Bible study, which is really unlike me because I used to devour the Bible to try and find out everything it was trying to tell me, but I couldn't pray then. Now I can pray, but I can't study the Bible. To be honest, I'm not doing very much to resolve the situation. I need to wake up earlier. That'll be a big help, but most days, I feel like I've got nothing to wake up for, not in a depressed sort of way, just I don't have anything to do that can't be done in the afternoon or the evening. I am helping my mum with housework more, but even then, I only have chores like ironing or washing dishes. But I need to change that, because I'd have tons of time to pray for as long as I'd like and study the Bible. I really need to change this attitude of almost total apathy.

I still can't believe I survived cancer. I know it really wasn't as dramatic as that because I was never at a point where I could've died because of it, but in essence, that's what happened - I survived cancer. By the grace of God, it was at an early stage and the cancer was removed during the surgery. I still can't get my head round that. I'm a worthless sinner like everyone else, so why was He so kind to me? Chemotherapy was horrible and recovering from surgery was annoying, but really, it wasn't all that bad. What did I lose - time, an ovary, my hair? All of that is God given anyway, so none of it was mine. God decided that I had that time to lose, my hair would grow back and now if I ever have chidren, they'll be even more special than to a woman with both ovaries. I am sooo not getting an epidural though because the issues after one are just not worth it!

I'll be glad to get out of Glasgow. I think it'll put everything in perspective, but still, it's too close to see how God and I have grown closer together. I want to say I love Him, but I know a lot of my life doesn't reflect that. I know He's working on it though, and that's enough.