This is one of those things that I guess many people struggle with. I am not sure why since intellectually we all know that God is someone we can trust more than any one in our lives. Still, when there's something we want or need, it is always easier just to worry and try and figure things out by ourselves.
Over the last couple of years, God has really transformed my heart. The grace that he has poured out in my life has really been evident to all those who know me here and I've grown so much in my relationship with him and my knowledge of him, yet every time something difficult comes up, though I know in my head God's got it all sorted and that it's no surprise to him, my tendency is still to worry. I also try to figure all things out myself and see how I can sort it out. If all else fails, I pray.
Surely the thing to do is pray first? But why on earth don't we do it? Is it a form of pride - that somehow we are better than God? Or is it that we don't really believe he loves us as much as the Bible says he does? I suspect it's probably a bit of both...
It's always the same things as well, right? Money worries, a desire for stability and a desire for a spouse. It doesn't matter how many times I come to resolve in my mind that God knows I want and need some of these things, I still end up taking my eyes off him and have to bring it back to him after a period of despair. I still look at the mountain before me instead of looking at my God who is so much bigger than that mountain.
I don't have any words of wisdom here. I just have to keep repeating time and time again:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge him,
And he will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3:5-6
If you've found yourself to be at that place, I hope this encourages you today.
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